The Great Cave

Where am I?  Who am I?  What is my purpose and the purpose of all that is around me?

I awoken in The Great Cave.  A cave of darkness and despair.  It appears that all around me are in this cave, but very distant.  There isn't much light to see them, or their state of being.  Is this a dream?  During the dark nights much is vague.  I don't understand why I am here, and what I'm supposed to do.

I think I have found a possible answer.  I will wait for the light far above that gives enough light to see those seemingly lost souls around me.  In ways it seems they are far lost than I am.  Maybe they have answers.  I see colors around them and voices.  It seems some of them are in a panic, and others seem content with their situation.  I must learn from them, I've been in the darkness on the far side of the cave for a long time.

I start to mimic their actions, especially the ones who seem content with the darkness.  It appears that they have re-created the great light, but it isn't the same, and when darkness falls upon us all the colors and sounds disappear.  Despair and darkness once again throws everything into confusion and hope is crushed.  Light is gone, weeping begins.

The others seem to want to create what is above, the great light, but down in this cave how can that ever satisfy our souls and bring purpose, meaning, and something one of the others mentioned; love.  I don't understand love.  I'm not sure the others do either.  How do we get out of this dreadful and tormenting cave!  We know the light is above but being so far down how can we ever expect to reach the top?  How do we find this love?  The others who tried to create artificial light and love seem happy for a time and have a reflection of love, but it isn't love.  All I know is that the light must be the opposite in many ways of the darkness in this great cave created for all mankind.  How can we ever expect to get out of here?  The pain of loosing hope over and over trying to mimic the others who all seem so confident at times that they know all the answers.  

I can't take the darkness anymore.  And after the darkness passes for a short time, seeing that glimmer of hope shining down, getting destroyed over and over.  And to be told of something so great as love, and know I will never see the fullness of the light, never love, and never be loved.

I cannot climb out of here, and it appears no one ever has.  Why are we here?  Who put us here?  Oh I must get out of here before my inner being breaks and my already tired heart stops beating after seeing nothing but pain, over and over again.  The pain the darkness has created is unbearable.  The conditions down here get worse and worse every time the light leaves us.  

Oh great light please take us with you before the darkness returns.  My heart and soul cannot take being down here anymore.  Hope has faded away.  I can do nothing to help myself or others.  Please take us with you.  I'm so cold and tired.  I've walked back to my original place in the cave, far from all the others.  Is this where I shall be engulfed in the darkness and meet my death?  

I am so helpless.  I see that there is true light, and true darkness.  I want no copy or reproduction.  I have no way to buy or work myself out of this.  I lay down and wait.  Wait for the light to return and speak with no words, but with my dying soul.  The darkness is here and all is silent and very cold.  When will this end?  Please take me with you Great Light.  Much of my focus has been on my own despair and hopelessness, trying to play games in the cave like many of the others to forget about our dreadful state but my awarness of this state is so great I cannot make it through another great darkness.  And I feel it's coming soon.  I'm sorry for being so selfish, all my motives directed right at me to make my situation better.  I don't know love but I believe I have discovered hatred inside of me, a true part of me.  I just can't get the idea of love out of my mind.  

I wonder...is it better to have love and lose it, or never know love at all...

May I die before the darkness, or allow me to ride the light into eternal love and warmth, far away from this dreaded Great Cave.  

My heart and soul go into deep slumber...